When we talk about stress, we naturally think of sources of concern: changes that destabilize us, conflicts, overloaded agendas, etc.

In an interview, Rob Cross, co-author of The Microstress Effect, alerts us to another, largely underestimated factor of stress. Every interaction with people whom we appreciate, and with whom we wish to establish or maintain a relationship, also generates its own share of stress. We are careful about what we say, we are eager for the other person to interpret our messages correctly, we ask ourselves how we should interpret their words. Admittedly, this stress is a low-intensity one, and one that we do not generally identify as such. But it is repeated dozens of times a day and can accumulate to the point of bringing us closer to the risk of burn-out.

How can we minimize this risk? The author emphasizes the need to limit “collaborative overload”. To promote good mental health, we need to choose, deliberately, with whom we interact regularly and with which groups we can maintain more distance. For establishing relationships with people we trust is essential to curbing our stress, but only up to a certain volume of interactions.

Source: Author Talks: How minor stresses add up to epic fails, interview of Rob Cross by Lucia Rahilly, McKinsey Insights, July 2023.